It's absolutely freezing outside.

I wrap myself up in a woolen sweater, and cozy up with a glass of Merlot in hand.

Term is finally coming to an end, and I'm pleased with what has been done so far. Despite the bumpy start, the foot has somehow found its way in the door; and it's merely a matter of taking those steps further.

The thing about law in University is that there is no smooth transition from A levels where it was simply enough to state cases that give authority to a principle - more than that is expected. The full understanding of the case is needed, and the critical analysis of the reasons behind the judgement. It surely does not help that the jurisdictions are interlaced with unnecessary rhetoric and conflicting arguments that go on for 9 pages or more. At times, I've doubted myself and cursed my rigid mind that has been accustomed to the Malaysian education system of regurgitation. Nonetheless, with hours put into the 8 essays (yes, per term- explains the unannounced hiatus?), I'm slowly picking things up; and hopefully heading in the right direction. (First class baby! One in the bag, just today!)

But what has really stood out to me about doing law right here in London, is the absolutely competitive nature of it all. In the first year already, we are introduced to the great concept of the 'Magic Circle firms' i.e the top of the top law firms with international prestige, and urged to be forward thinking in our career paths. By the second year, applications for summer schemes are expected to enable the chance of employment at one of these top firms, and if all goes well, a training contract is secured in the third year- thus, solving all questions about life. This applies in the relatively same manner for investment banks, accountancy and consultancy firms.

And I sit down and ponder. Where lays the truth in the pre-conceived notion that University is the time for easygoing fun and self discovery?

Times are certainly changing. Added with the stress from the global economic downturn; the career path has become even more competitive and benchmarks are being set higher and higher.

So what if you're a straight distinction achiever, if you've represented your nation in an event of importance? You're now competing at a global sphere, where so many others are just like you. It's about building something unique, and greater than the average top achiever.

And I ask myself- if everyone is caught in this spiral in proving to be better than the rest; or at least the best that one can be, and works towards the expected development thus – is this really self-discovery? Or is it merely pushing the ideals of the rat race down the throat?

Have we restricted ourselves and the freedom to mature intellectually- in whatever way we choose?

Yet, ultimately the choice of how we choose to live is in our hands, and fulfillment is a definition that differs for each. What can't be denied is the myriad of possibilities here that can be embraced, should there be the will to.

.."the shadows in the cracks and all that's in between.."